When you fell in love with Grace…
I recently listened to Mainstay’s song “Hang On” and felt it resonate with so many feelings I have had about losing our “first love” with Jesus. I researched the songwriter’s thoughts behind this song and found them to be amazingly insightful and truthful. Here is the song lyrics and his thoughts below:
I don’t know how I got to where I am
All I know is that I want to go back
to the moment when I fell in love with grace
and I hear you whisper
Hang on I know your hope seems gone
Hang on sometimes the heartache makes you strong
Remember the first time love turned you around
I try my best to pray but my heart won’t move
And all the words the saints say, they just don’t help
I want to go back to when I first called out your name
and I hear you whisper
To the moment when I fell in love with grace
To the day when I first called out Jesus’ name
Behind the Song:
“So this is what it’s like to be a typical 25 year-old disillusioned Christian. I am a natural born cynic, and after seeing this much of life, I (like so many people of all ages) have come to the conclusion that the idealized pictures of Christianity, the church, and my walk with God that I had as a new believer when I was young, have been thrown out the window. There is no idealized, perfect ascent up the staircase of holiness, with a gleaming smile on my face as I go straight from Minnesota to Heaven. No, life is much harder and more confusing than we make it out to be as young believers. And yet, from here on the other side with great confusion and skepticism, I have seen that it is so much more simple.
This is a song for everyone who is disillusioned with the church, and by that I mean the church body, whether it be the institution or the people. This is a song for everyone who is clinging to a scrap of faith in a God they believed in when they were young, but who seems increasingly irrelevant to their life now. Remember the first time that love turned you around…remember hearing that there was a way to be forgiven from your sins. Remember the astonishment you had when you first understood the grace of God in making sinners clean. Remember the warmth of the Holy Spirit filling your heart with peace. Let go of all the bitterness and cynicism that keeps you from Jesus.
I felt God saying this to me this last January when writing for this record. Be honest – admit that life is not peachy. Be humbled – I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Come back to the essentials of what faith is, and who Jesus is. Just because people have messed up what you feel Christianity is, does not mean that God has gone away and isn’t sovereign over your life. Just because you have walked or drifted away from Jesus doesn’t mean that He is not still the Alpha and Omega – the creator of life itself and sustainer of all atomic structure.
Even if I can’t feel the love and peace of God right now, I can remember what it was to walk in the Spirit. Even if I feel distant from the Lord, I can remember burning with love for Jesus. Last January, God shook me from some of the cynicism and bitterness that was keeping me from Him. He called to mind the simple faith in an objective God who is faithful through all of our seasons of life, and who loves us with a love that spreads out it’s arms and dies in our place.” – Justin Anderson (Mainstay)
________
What are your thoughts on losing your first love, disillusioned Christianity, or any of his thoughts shared above?
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Filed under: Devotional Life on July 9th, 2008
I'm Kaysie, 22. Jesus follower. Lover of sunshine, trees, hot tea, books, music, family, the gospel, poetry and Barnes and Nobles. Has a weird obsession with paper. Over-analyzes almost everything. Adores simplicity. Lucky for you. 
I’ve gone through some very tough times in my Christian walk. Yet, as I look back, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I believe God uses these times of heartache and sorrow in our lives to draw us nearer to Himself, to reveal more of Himself to us, to make us stronger and more dependant on Him. Then when a time of peace follows, there is so much joy and fullness in Christ. The way may be lonely at times (sometimes circumstances can leave us with a feeling of “suffocation”) but it helps us to see that Christ is all we need. He is our All-Sufficiency.
Those are some great truths, Sara. Amen.
Oh, Kaysie! That song is beautiful!!! I’ll have to see if I can buy it on itunes for my ipod when I get the chance!
Allison, it is really beautiful… tell me what you think about it.
There’s a song with the exact same theme as this, by Keith Green. It’s called “When I First trusted You”. It’s got a beautiful tune
but more than that, it makes me want to come back to the simplicity of my first love for Christ. Here are the lyrics:
Well I though I depended upon you.
At least that used to be what was happening with me.
In those times of our first sweet communion,
Nothing got in the way, I heard your voice everyday.
When I first trusted you, gave my life to you.
When I trusted you.
Well there’s something that needs to be cleared up.
I feel so sorry inside, that my first love has died.
Cause I’ve tried in my own strength to follow.
When I’ve known all along, I just couldn’t go wrong.
If I’d only trusted you, give my life to you.
If I’d trusted you. Ooh, trusted you.
Well I though I depended upon you.
At least that used to be what was happening with me.
In those times of our first sweet communion,
Nothing got in the way, I heard your voice everyday.
When I first trusted you, I gave my life to you.
When I trusted you.
That is beautiful, Meshaay! Thank you so much for sharing that.
I will have to look it up on iTunes and listen.
Like C.J. Mahaney says in his book The Cross Centered Life, NEVER MOVE ON! Never move on from the simple truth of the gospel. No matter what.
Also, as to Mainstay, I had to add that I am proud of them, mostly because they are from my home turf! lol. They did worship for 2007 (or was it 06?) spring blitz (the MN youth conference) and I think that was before they were very popular. I just had to add that!
In Christ,
Olivia
… how neat!