Talking to Girls: from the mouth of an 8 year old
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I don’t know whether to find this insanely hilarious or extremely sad…
What do you think?
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Filed under: Reflections on December 19th, 2008
I'm Kaysie, 22. Jesus follower. Lover of sunshine, trees, hot tea, books, music, family, the gospel, poetry and Barnes and Nobles. Has a weird obsession with paper. Over-analyzes almost everything. Adores simplicity. Lucky for you. 
I can’t see the video….though it isn’t you. If it is Youtube, my computer filter blocks it.
Oh man… I’m sorry. It is YouTube. I wish you could see it!
Is that a joke?! That can’t be real. Wow, is that what eight year olds think about?
Man, I hope I’m a “reglar” girl.
Actually Ali Joy, it is NOT a joke. That is what I thought it was too. But the book really exists.
I hope I am a “regular” girl too.
Wow. I am not surprised by what I saw in the video, but it still makes me feel sad. When I was in fifth grade (at a Christian school), the boys used to give their ‘girlfriends’ roses on valentines day. I always thought that was the most ridiculous thing (and still do……).
I think we can give credit to Hollywood for this. I can’t even imagine my 10 year old brother trying to get a girls attention-this way or any way!
I agree, Shannon. Hollywood is largely responsible for such thinking in children- that and the Disney Channel. Even juvenille entertainment that is supposed to be harmless(High School Musical comes to mind) is giving young children the idea that they are supposed to be obsessed with romance.
I suppose this video seems even wierder to me because it’s a little boy instead of a girl. For some reason I can see a little girl interested in such things more than a boy, though when I was eight I was mostly interested in running around outside and reading. I never even gave a thought to crushes and I must say that it didn’t do me any harm.
Shannon, public (and even Christian) schools are truly conforming kids to embrace a romantic life even at young ages. I went to Christian school for kindergarten and 1st grade before being homeschooled, and during that time I was proposed to and “engaged” to some little boy in my class. That is just weird looking back…
Ali, yes – the Disney Channel is so influencing! You just aren’t complete without a “special someone” by your side! … how very sad.
I also found it more weird that this is a boy talking instead of a girl. Girl’s are a little more “romantically inclined” than little boys… but maybe I am wrong.
Um…that was so sad. Can you imagine wasting your life away thinking about what a “regalur” (yes I spelled it like that on purpose!) looks like, and how you can give attention but not too much? Is this really how little boys age eight who should be playing in the woods and nailing boards together or helping Daddy think? If so, gross.
Yes I agree that it’s strange hearing this out of a little boy…they need prayer. We all need prayer. Our little boys should not be headed in that direction. Please encourage your little brothers/sons to do manly things! Please!
Jenna
WOW.
It’s so sad to see what our world is coming to. The lack of purity. The lack of true virtue. The lack of true value. Being judged on wether or not you have a “friend” of the opposite gender. I think it’s actually astonishing that children these days think about love at such a young age. (let alone write a book! *mouth gaping*)
My 7 year old brother thinks about WWll and fighting “bad guys”, and he just finished building a tunnel in a snow drift with Abigail.
Josh
Jenna, yes, I think it is sad how he seems completely consumed with figuring out the female race, and not worried about boy stuff – like forts and mud and reckless activities.
But of course, I don’t know what he likes to do in his spare time. You are right. We do need prayer and encouragement in biblical femininity and masculinity. I hope to encourage the guys in my life to be godly instead of popular.
Josh, it is indeed sad. I am amazed at young people’s advanced knowledge and concern about attracting a girlfriend or boyfriend. It’s crazy. Your younger brother sounds like he is on the right track.
We need brave, manly men – not mini Dr. Phil’s solving through worldly wisdom the relationship complexes of life. 
I was so sure this was a joke, and then I googled the book.
It is sad but also no big surprise. When you’re young, everything’s “by the rules” and he is just spitting out what he’s been taught – by his peers and by television – are the rules of love.
As we grow older, we learn how to interact with more care, or we learn at the very least there are more rules than “it’s best to choose a regular girl.” Girls do it too, there are simply way more books on the subject for us, labeled with different titles, with “romance” plot lines.
His parents allowed him (either as a natural step in adolescence or as a point of greed on their parts) hold these beliefs, and that is what is sad – they had a chance to educate him on how the Lord says to treat others; instead they allowed him to follow the devil into the sins of pride and greed.
The bottom line is: those who care, care. Those who don’t, don’t know HOW to care.
Wow, I don’t find that hilarious, but really sad. That little boy is TOO much informed with the wrong things. Where is he learning all this evil at such a young age. Any age before marriage is too young. This is practically INSANE. His poor little mind isn’t pure, it’s full of garbage. Come on, seriously, crushes, dates, flirting, girl friends, at age 8!? My brother is almost 10 and doesn’t even know what that is. He plays soccer, plays in the snow, toys, and just anything a NORMAL boy should do these days. Or is that not normal anymore? That boy is really falling the wrong way. Just wait until he’s about 15-16 he’ll be fathering a child! :O That’s just not even right, where are his parents, laughing because they think it’s cute?! Probably! Vanessa
Jillian, I know you are right. It really is not a surprise.
The sad fact is, that most boys probably think this way too, but are not as gifted in proper communication as this 8 year old is. Like you said, girls are just as infiltrated as boys, except our sources are more “acceptable”. And bottom line – I DO care… and I find it very sad.
Vanessa, I know – for such a bright, smart young boy, he could be learning and proclaiming such beautiful truths if he only knew them. It is pretty insane… and I bet his parents think it is TOO cute. Just wait a few more years… his “grasp” of romantic life will probably turn around and bite him.
While I do agree with most everything everyone has said so far, I was kind of looking at this from a different angle. First of, I thought it was kind of sad that todays outlook on romance and love and girls and boys are so twisted and so weird and so wrong that they don’t work out, that an 8-year-old boy is compelled to take his shot at it and write a book to help out his other guy friends. Not to mention his idea of what most girls look and act like. I mean it seems like he saw girls his age as either “pretty”, “regular”, or “shy”. Maybe he has a point, I think a lot of girls (I think I could safely say ones that aren’t believers or that don’t have Christian parents) do tend to act like that: empty-headed, boy-crazy, and worrying about how they look. “like a car that needs a lot of oil”. And this is what the world is telling us we should be doing at any age! Finding a girlfriend.
also he didn’t think that you were supposed to always know or like the girl or not; just something your supposed to have. you know? please tell me if you agree with any of what I said, or not. 
There’s this great part in a song by Swichfoot that says, “everyone’s been scared to death of dying here alone”… I think that could apply to why everyone is trying to find “that special someone” without really caring if that person is the one they love or not. One last thing
(sorry this was kind of long)
Camille
Camille, very well said. You have some great points! It seems he did write the book out of concern for his fellow man, but his advice will basically put a band-aid on top of a bigger issue. Having a girlfriend – even one that meets his criteria – will not solve the deepest longings or provide confidence in anyone’s life, especially for an 8 year old.
Like you said, and so did Switchfoot, we are afraid of dying alone – or even living alone. But we don’t have to… Jesus came to give His presence in every moment, every day, forever. That is the message we need to get out.
Thanks for your insightful comment.
Well, I have to say, I chuckled a bit at his smilies — “crushes are like a stock market” and “pretty girls are like cars that need oil.” My fifth grade teacher lectured me mercilessly for saying things like “her voice was like the sea,” and I’ve been cautious with similes ever since. Obviously, Alec has no scruples about his imagery!
On a more serious note, though, yes: it’s very sad. The most disturbing part of this video, in my opinion, is when Alec says “go for a [whatever] girl.” Honestly, that just seems creepy to me — it seems to be sending the message that boys should constantly preying after girls to see whom they can “catch.” It instantly brings to mind this image of a boy being completely consumed by thoughts of a girl, and constantly watching her to see when he’s free to “get” her — like an object of some sort.
And I hate his tip about saying “hi” to a girl. Most girls will say “hi” back, without at all intending to express a love interest. Why put all this unnecessary significance on a simple, two-letter word? Do girls really have to deal with a bunch of guys thinking “Oh my gosh, she said hi to me, she must love me!” Talk about jumping to conclusions.
Alec is is definitely someone to pray for. He’s got incredible speaking skills for his age, and I can only imagine how much he could do for God’s kingdom if he made the choice to follow Him.
Oksana, yes, his imagery is what is funny I think, but I agree that his whole “preying mentality” is a bit disturbing. When I first watched the video I felt like I was a dog or some sort of object to be caught or purchased. Women (well I think everyone) usually don’t like to be thought of as a “prize to be won”, but rather a person with much more than a body or pretty face.
We should definitively pray for young Alex, that God would use this gift of speaking to ignite the hearts of others to live fully for Him.
And yes, I have said “hi” to many guys with whom I am not in love with!
While I found the video a little humorous, the idea behind it is quite sad, and devastatingly so. Does this little boy factor love, purity, and honor into his equation for finding girlfriends? Does he even understand the importance of these things in a relationship? He makes some very valid points, but judging from his demeanor, I’d say that he has more of a technical view of these things, rather than a holistic or even Godly view.
And I agree with other commentator that his parents probably think this is totally cute, and other people would probably read our comments and upraid us for being so legalistic and prudish. But you know what? They wouldn’t be half-wrong. We have all follwed this kind of worldly wisdom at some point in our lives. I know that I constantly struggle with my desires for a husband and with the long waiting period that I shall more than likely endure.
In light of that, it becomes extremely important for Christian parents to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord so that they don’t fall into the trap of worldly wisdome. Granted, children go through an awful-lot of phases when they’re young (I know I sure did), and this young boy could easily grow out of this one with some quality spiritual instruction.
Erica
Erica, you nailed what is really missing in his discourse: love, purity, and honor. I think that is what is troubling us mostly. There is no ground to build on or walls to protect. Besides having “technicality” which doesn’t stand a chance against swerving, unsettled emotions.
And like you said, I can’t condemn him in the least because of my own shortcomings, even in this area. The world’s ideas can creep up on our worldviews without our knowing it sometimes. Which is where godly parents and the Word of God come in, like you said.
I read an article saying this book was coming out, and I think the video and the whole idea is very cute — as well as the little author
I think at this point, young Alex just likes girls for their personality; but when he hits thirteen things will change, and that’s where ‘rules’ are going to be tested. His methods are sweet now, but in high school new motivations arise that challenge the old. What is most frustrating is that this child would be thinking about dating at all. Boys have liked girls since creation, even 8 yo ones, but our culture isn’t doing anything to keep the liking to just that…
Phylicia